Getting Over An Addiction To Your Ex
If love is truly like a drug, can a breakup turn your affection into addiction?
According to mental health and relationship expert Dr. Jeff Gardere, the answer is yes. You may be experiencing symptoms of an Exaholic, or someone whose strong attachment has turned self-destructive and dangerous. Dr. Jeff’s latest project is a website and online community dedicated to exactly this crisis, (www.exaholics.com), and it provides resources and advice for getting through that relationship you just can’t get over.
We had Dr. Jeff on our show to talk about the complexity of certain relationships, what it means to be addicted to an ex, and what to do to escape the darkness that can consume us once the relationship ends.
3 Tips To Stop Obsessing Over An Ex
- Avoid the “People, Places, or Things” You Associate With Them.
“If you’re having trouble [getting over them]”, Dr. Jeff says, “do not put yourself in a place where you could run into the individual. “Associate with different people, go to different restaurants than you’re used to.” Relocating some of your day-to-day activities will help you look over your shoulder less and look forward to new experiences more. - Find a Healthier Obsession
Healthy eating, exercise, even “tap dancing” – find a hobby that requires your attention and energy, and fill your time with that! Take the brain space you were using to think of “them” and turn it towards something else. - Make Yourself Happier
Seek out situations where you can “validate who you are.” Believe in yourself and your purpose. Take Dr. Jeff’s word for it – “You know that old saying, without him I am nothing? Honey, without him, you are everything!”
For more tips on handling a breakup, be sure to check out the full Exaholics program at www.exaholics.com.
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