What Are The 12 Steps To Recovering From A Breakup?

We had mental health and relationship expert Dr. Jeff Gardere stop by the program to talk to us about what to do if you’re obsessing over an ex. His new program is called Exaholics, and it’s an online community designed to help people get through their breakups.

To help someone dealing with an addiction to their ex, Dr. Jeff and the team at Exaholics.com have devised a 12-Step “Recovery” program you can use to pull yourself out. The application of the program, however, is totally up to you. “The important thing is that [the steps] can be used in any way you’d like. You can do them progressively, in order, or you can skip around.”

He even advises printing out a copy and keeping it in your wallet, pulling it out to consult as needed. The Exaholics.com 12-step program is similar to the programs for other addictions, but does not link to a specific spiritual power – instead, it relies on trust in a “support network” to guide people to their freedom.

or check them out below.

The 12 Steps To Recovering From a Breakup

Step One – We admit to ourselves and fellow members that we are powerless over our thoughts and emotions about our ex, and we struggle daily in life
 as a result.

Step Two – We have come to believe that those in our support network, who share in our stress, are the ones to turn to for love and support

Step Three – We place our faith in this kindred network of unconditional support, and trust that with their support we have the power to heal and grow

Step Four – We begin to accept our support network as an integral part of our lives, allowing the love and acceptance we find here to help us heal and rebuild our strength.

Step Five – We use the feedback of our support network to help us develop a more complete understanding of who we are, and where we need to grow.

Step Six– We resolve to become stronger, wiser, happier people as a result of what we learned from our past relationships, so that we might have more joyful and loving relationships in the future

Step Seven – We made the decision that we were ready to improve ourselves with the help of our support network and /or our inner wisdom.

Step Eight – We ask our support network to help us identify and remove all of our unhealthy relationship patterns, and we commit to practicing healthy new relationship skills with our network

Step Nine – Make a list of all the persons who our unhealthy relationship patterns have injured in the past, and who we must make amends to

Step Ten – Directly apologize and make amends to these persons except in cases where it might be injurious to them

Step Eleven – We continue our efforts to understand ourselves and admit our character flaws without delay. We continue to strengthen our relationships within our network

Step Twelve – Having had a spiritual rebirth through the practice of these steps, we present these healing steps to Exaholics who are in emotional pain.

You can watch the full interview with Dr. Jeff Gardere here.

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